I'm Lost
by wolfie22
Summary: a little fic about the aftermath of 6x08


We had a snow day today, therefore, Caryl fic!

* * *

"Tara, stop!" Rosita grabbed the young woman by the arm as Tara moved to chase after the escaping wolf who held Denise captive.

"You can't go out there," Rosita held onto her shoulders and looked her in the eye, "he has her at knife point, and you can't fire a gun outside, you'll be swarmed. You have to stay inside. Someone will see them, someone will help."

Tara took a deep breath and dropped her head to look at the eerily still bodies of her friends that lay in the center of the room.

"What the fuck happened?"

"Given the screams and sounds of distress that brought us down here, I would conclude that one of those wolves was in this house and attacked again." Eugene had his fingers on Carol's neck, checking for a pulse as Rosita knelt to join him and check on Morgan.

"How did one of them manage to hide out in here without anyone noticing?" Tara was pacing the small room, clearly agitated by the chaotic turn of events.

"Someone noticed," Rosita pointed to the cut away bonds near a small pile of bloody blankets, "he was tied up."

"Not tight enough," Tara growled.

"Well we'll get no answers here," Eugene rose with Carol in his arms, "let's get these two upstairs so we can get them comfortable and try to help them wake up."

Rosita spent the next couple of hours running between two bedrooms in the house and checking on her new patients. Carol had a nasty cut on her forehead, but was also sporting a large lump on the back of her head. Her wrist was broken and there was also a large bruise on her back. Whatever had happened in that room, Carol had clearly gotten the brunt of the attack.

Morgan seemed to be much better off. A broken nose and some scattered bruises were the only visible injuries that Rosita could point out.

They could do nothing but wait for an explanation as to how a lone wolf could have taken on two skilled fighters like Carol and Morgan, and then get to Denise as well.

The trio sat, and waited, and listened to the moans and groans of the horde of walkers as they shuffled though the once safe town.

* * *

Morgan woke with a groan, and quickly realized that he was no longer in the basement cell. The last thing he remembered was a feeling of dread.

What had he done?

He knew that people could come back from dark places. He thought that he could get her to listen to reason. He thought that she would understand. He was wrong.

The anger returned and he felt it deep in his gut as they fought. Then it came out.

He had snapped, and Carol had paid the price. She was already injured, the cut on her forehead was impossible to fake, and her trembling hands and sweat-drenched face made him think that the possibility of a concussion may have been real as well.

Had he killed her?

He sat up quickly and immediately regretted his decision as his head swam. What had happened?

"Carol?" his voice was raspy, but it was effective, and in a few moments the door opened and Rosita and Tara entered, "Is Carol ok? Where's the wolf? Denise?"

"Hey, relax," Rosita came towards him with a fresh icepack, "keep this on your head. We can't get to the infirmary right now, so we have to make due."

"Carol's in the room across the hall, she's still out," Tara stopped him as he went to rise from the bed, "Eugene is with her. We can't do anything until she wakes up."

"The wolf had your knife at Denise's throat when we showed up," Rosita grabbed Tara's hand and gave a squeeze, "he took her and left. Went out into the community. We couldn't follow."

"What the hell happened?"

Morgan thought back to the insanity of the last few days, so much had happened in such a short amount of time, it was difficult to process everything.

"The wolf, he was injured so I brought him to the cell. I tied him up, thought I could talk him back," he kept going even after the loud scoff that Tara released, "we didn't need to kill them. People can come back, they just need to be given a chance," Morgan paused at thought about his words carefully, "I asked Denise to treat his wound, but Carol found out and came to kill him."

He explained that they had run from the walkers and hidden upstairs. How Carol had fallen, and had pretended to be sleeping so she could get to the basement before him to finish off the wolf, and now she refused to listen.

He lowered his head as he continued, "She said she'd kill me to kill him," his hand rose to his bandaged nose, "we fought and I…something just clicked" Morgan was struggling with his words, "…I just wanted her to stop, so I picked her up and just…threw her and then she was still, and then I woke up," he took a deep breath, "I guess the wolf knocked me out before he took my knife."

The silence that followed his confession was deafening.

Until Tara broke it.

"You fucking body-slammed her onto the floor?!" Tara rose from the bed, huffing, "her back is one giant bruise! You wouldn't let her kill a man who clearly has no problem killing, but you'll nearly kill her to defend him? Explain that to me please cause it's not making a whole lot of sense to me!"

"She killed so many people during the attack—" he was cut off by Rosita

"She killed killers, who broke into our home and killed our friends with no mercy," Rosita was looking at him with disgust, "she saved us. Got us weapons."

"You don't understand. Everyone deserves a chance. All life is precious, and we can't just go around killing each other. Those people were far gone, but so was I, and you can come back."

Tara's face was turning red as she listened, the stress of the walkers, Carol's condition, and the situation with Denise were too much to handle, "you know who can't come back? Holly. Holly was minding her own business when one of those people sliced her open. You didn't watch her bleed to death on a table while listening to the screams of your friends!"

She was breathing heavily and Rosita rose to join her, "some people can come back, Morgan, but not everyone."

"You're part of our group, Morgan, but you better be either long gone or well-hidden when Daryl gets back," at the confused look on Morgan's face, Rosita continued, "he loves her more than any of us and you nearly got her killed, start figuring out how to make this right."

The two women turned and left the room to let Morgan process the new information.

* * *

Someone was squeezing her hand.

It was a desperate, bone-crunching squeeze, and as she came out of her fog she heard the accompanying voice, "you gotta wake up."

She drifted in and out with that message reverberating through her mind, _you gotta wake up_. She caught snippets of the same voice as the fog lifted and fell.

Sometimes It screamed, _I'm gonna kill him! Rick, this has nothing to do with you, get outta my way!_

Sometimes it whispered, _Carol, please._

 _You haven't used up all nine-lives yet  
We still got a lot of things to do  
I didn't even get to tell you, I know you know, but I didn't say it._

* * *

The light was too bright. Everything hurt. Her back was on fire and her head felt like it was in a vice, "fuuckk" was the only word she could manage to croak out.

"Carol?" The voice was back, and this time it was a whisper and not a scream, "Don't try to sit up, just squeeze my hand if you understand."

She applied all the force that she could muster into a small finger squeeze, and the voice responded with a laugh that made the corner of her lips twitch up into a smile. Daryl.

Daryl was here, and they were both alive. Small miracles.

"Go get Denise and Rosita," she felt the slight brush of fingertips trail along her cheek "bout time you woke up."

Suddenly, his face was above hers, blocking out the harsh lights, "Carl's getting the docs, you're gonna be fine."

Her eyelids fluttered and her parched voice croaked out again, "gotta be."

The laugh was back, but she also felt a tiny splash of water against her cheek, "damn, I can't leave you alone for ten minutes can I?"

His forehead gently rested against hers, "don't scare me like that again."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. His hand clutching hers.

Rosita and Denise came to check her over, and though she'd be confined to the bed for a while, she'd recover with time. Daryl had explained that Denise was taken by the wolf, but that he was quickly put down by Rick as they escaped the walkers.

No fuss, no discussions, just a bullet to the head because he was a danger to family.

Carol had been out for three of the longest days of Daryl Dixon's life. He had gotten a few good punches in before Rick had dragged him away from Morgan. They had all decided that ultimately it would be Carol's decision on his fate.

He was a family member who had injured a family member, even if his intentions were for non-violence. Daryl was quick to remind Rick that banishment seemed to be a good punishment, but Morgan was left to his devices until Carol awoke.

* * *

"You know I'm always on your side, right?" Daryl was lying next to her, her head cradled against his chest.

She simply nodded and gave an affirmative "mhmm" in reply.

"You gotta stop taking things on by yourself. You're strong, but everyone needs help," he looked down at her, "the last two times I went on runs, you threatened men with knives. I know you can handle yourself, but if I had come back and you were gone…" he trailed off and she knew the ending without him having to say it.

They were a team. They've been together for a long time, and one part of the machine wouldn't function well on its own. They need each other, and there's no getting around that now.

She winced as she shifted into a more comfortable position, "I feel like I'm lost."

Daryl looked down at her in confusion, "ever since the girls, well, since Karen and David really,"  
he sat up a little as she continued to talk, "I thought I was protecting people, and then Rick decided that people would view me as a monster for what I did, so I thought it was over. Then I thought you were all gone. Finding the girls and Tyreese was a blessing and a curse, I got to tell Ty the truth, but I lost Lizzie and Mika...I should've been paying attention and..." she broke off and he placed a small kiss atop her head while she took a few deep breaths.

"Then we found you, and I was back with my family, back home, but it just kept being taken away...Beth was right there, it was so stupid, so quick, and she was gone! Then Tyreese right after, it was too much. If we had killed the rest of the Terminus group, Bob would be here and maybe something would be different, maybe...I don't know."

She was starting to get angry, and her voice rose as she sat up next to him in the bed, "But when those wolves showed up I just snapped, they were killing our friends and I wasn't having any more of it, they needed to die! I watched one of them put an axe through Shelly's head, for no reason. I had to put Erin down myself after one of them sliced her open!"

She tried to stop the tears but they were coming too quickly now, "I don't like it, I don't like what I'm doing, but I don't want anyone else to die, Daryl!" She angrily wiped her eyes, "I don't think I can stand it anymore, I'm just lost in my own head."

"Hey," he hauled her into his side once again, "s'alright. What happened when you was lost back at Hershel's farm, when ya ran off by yourself, who found ya?"

She looked up at him and gave him a weak smile. He continued, "what about when you was lost in those tombs and Fought your way into a cell, you got ya then?"

Carol squeezed his fingers, "you. It's always you."

"And you found me when I got myself trapped in Terminus. It's what we do, we always find each other, no matter what, and it ain't about to stop now."

He was sitting up a little straighter now and she was leaned against his side. He gently turned her face towards his as he spoke again, "none of us knows what the hell we're at, and none of us like killing, but if it's them or us, it's always us. Morgan was by himself too long, he doesn't understand that we gotta protect people, protecting yourself is easy, but when you care about people, like you do, you gotta be willing to do anything."

"I don't really blame Morgan, I don't want him to be sent away," she shuddered a little remembering the feeling of crying alone in the car after her banishment, "I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I just think it's best if I stay away from him for a while."

Daryl let out a small chuckle, "he is not coming within ten feet of you, especially while I'm around, I'll fucking kill him for looking at you funny, I swear to god."

Carol gave a small mile, she knew he was serious, "I could hear you while I was out. Not a lot, just little bits of conversations, and I want you to know that you don't need to say it, I know."

"Never said it to anyone as long as I can remember, maybe Merle a couple times, maybe my Ma when I was little, but...I love ya, and I know you know, but I need to say it, I love ya, so you can't go getting hurt on me anymore, ok?"

"I promise that I'll try my hardest," she placed a small kiss on the corner of his mouth, "I love you too, Daryl."

Alexandria was still recovering from the herd of walkers, and according to Daryl, Sasha and Abraham, there may be a new threat on the horizon. There would always be something trying to pull them apart. Always be something horrible to overcome, but they could do it. Together.

She glanced at the Cherokee rose that sat in a small bowl on the nightstand and smiled. When Daryl had returned, he had taken the rose from the inside pocket of his vest and placed it next to her as she slept.

Their little symbol of hope, hope for each other, and hope for the world, was still in bloom


End file.
